one year ago today
One year ago today we got the phone call we had been waiting for. I was in Venice about to teach a private and the moment Extraordinary Families showed up on my phone my stomach did one hundred back flips.
When I answered the phone the social worker said:
There's a baby who needs you.
We had ten minutes to decide. We didn't know a name, we never saw a photo. We simply said yes.
It was a freefall into trust like we'd never known. You know that exercise where you'd fall backwards and someone would catch you? We were doing that but off the Grand Canyon and were unsure of who or what was at the bottom. For a moment I wondered, who will catch me but then I remembered: I'm here to catch him. I've been caught my whole life, comforted and supported. I'm here to catch him.
But even after all the classes we took, the books I've read, the foster and adoptive moms I've connected with, I was scared. Who would I be? Would I be good at this?.
We pulled up to the hospital. Left the car seat there. Walked in. Okay, wrong building. Left that one, walked into the other one. Got a name tag. And started down the hall.
My entire body was vibrating. Anticipation, excitement, fear. Honestly, in retrospect it was already vibrating with love. Stepped up to the nursery door. A nurse waved us in. And then there he was.
Right there in the middle of the room in a clear bassinet. I could see him from the side, loads of dark brown hair and big brown eyes. My eyes welled with tears and I walked over to place my hand on his very tiny back.
There you are.
You are perfect.
I love you.
My entire body flooded with something I've never felt before. I recognized him instantly. I loved him even before I recognized him.
I found my purpose.
It is to love with every ounce of my being, no matter what. Without conditions. Without certainty. Without holding back.
And it is to answer life’s call and say "yes" in every damn way.
