a reflection
Laying here with my sleeping boy who will be five in the morning. I’ll stick Elf on the Shelf in his birthday sign. I’ll put a candle in his chocolate croissant. And I’ll no doubt wake up with hot toddler breath in my face.
December 13, 2017 was the best day of my life because our son was born. But we didn’t know it. We had no idea this beautiful boy, who’d change our entire life, was born on this seemingly normal day in December.
I know exactly what I was doing six days later when we got the call, asking us to pick him from the hospital and foster him. But tonight I scrolled through my photos to see what I was doing on that day. I was in high tops with Rosy in DTLA. Probably taking a zillion photos, wandering the city and, as pictured, taking photos of storefronts filled with what I deemed beautiful.
But what I love most about these photos is the reflection the windows, of myself not knowing I’d be a mom just a few days later. Heart blown to smithereens, utterly exhausted and unsure of every single step foward.
But here, reflected back in storefronts and photographs, a girl, a woman, all unfolding and shifting even in these moments, before setting eyes on our son.
Honoring myself, in camo Dunks, latte and scribbly notebook in hand, and all that was meant to be. Tonight I honor this precipice and tomorrow (and foreverrrr) I celebrate this beautiful, wild, big hearted boy of ours.
