in grief & in love
A few days after Miki, Matt’s mother, passed we received a small package from Canada. Inside was a honey cake which she’d send us each year for Rosh Hashanah. The last one we’d receive from her, put in the mail a day or two before her death. It felt like a gift, like love and most certainly, like grief.
These past couple of weeks have felt like years. Grief is an unwieldy beast. I’m watching my husband move through it in such a deep and primal way, as I move through it alongside him, and we are unmoored.
I’ve been keeping up with what I can — daily walks (of which I needed to be reminded to take), snuggles with my guys and to be honest, not much else.
We spent the week in Canada doing our best to say goodbye and find some closure which feels so hard to find when a life ends in such an unexpected and abrupt way. But she’s been making herself known to us in so many ways. Letting us know that there’s peace on the other side and it’s our work to find it here.
So here are some glimmers from these past couple weeks — so many moments outside, here in Evergreen and in Guelph. Angel’s sticky hand in mine. The leaves speaking to us louder than words. Tear streaked cheeks and bear hugs. Our friends and family buoying us up in so many ways that no words could suffice.
Just love.
So, so much of that.
