you are under no obligation
I scribbled down this quote from Alan Watts a few months ago and have come back to it many, many times.
"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago."
Tattooing it forever on my heart, my brain, my nervous system.
Since we moved to Colorado almost six years ago, I've had so many identity crisis moments.
I keep waiting to go back to feeling how I did "before." Before foster care, before a pandemic, before a massive move, before so many insane disruptions and devastations in our society.
And it makes sense.
A study published in the journal PLOS ONE found that our key personality traits may have shifted to the point where we are less extroverted and creative, not as agreeable, and less conscientious. These declines amounted to "about one decade of normative personality change" and that research has only become more relevant with time, not less.
Some of you might be thinking, "God, this is a depressing share" but what I felt when I read it was exactly what I felt when I read Alan's words above.
Relief.
I'm not the same. You aren't likely to be either.
So instead of thinking about the days before, days that had their wild ups and downs as well, I'm continuing to get acquainted with this version. Mountaintop me. Mostly quieter, with some dance parties thrown in, me. Needing my practice like a goddamn life raft, me. Quality over quantity, me. I want to know this version of me and the versions to come.
And you can change every five minutes, just like the extremely wise Mr. Watts said, if that's what you need to do.
